Welcome to Moroccan love

“You may now kiss the bride” marked the end of the wedding. As the newlyweds turned to walk down the aisle the crowd surged forward to bestow upon them their congratulations and blessings of good fortune. The sun was shining and the fragrant flowers were in bloom. The air was filled with music and joy and the bride and groom were aglow with happiness and love. I can never tire of this scene.

After working for three years at the Harding Allen Estate, a banquet hall that specializes in hosting weddings and receptions, I have seen my fair share of weddings. There have been Jewish weddings in which they break a glass to signify the end of the wedding, Russian weddings in which they are crowned, and even a wedding on Halloween in which the bride and groom sacrificed an animal in a graveyard to bring good fortune to their marriage. What fascinates me the most about weddings is that each one is so different, yet they all manage to so beautifully convey the love present in the bond between husband and wife.

Before coming to Morocco to study, I had never contemplated what a Moroccan wedding would look like. The end of my first week of being in Morocco was upon me, and I was walking down the street when a long line of vehicles passed by honking their horns and flashing their headlights. At first I was startled and just figured that they were a bunch of angry drivers stuck in traffic, but then the Moroccan student I was walking with explained to me that it was actually a wedding procession. Just like that my curiosity flared up and a need to learn about Moroccan weddings was sparked.

Right away as I began my research I realized that Moroccan weddings were quite different from any other wedding culture I had knowledge of.

Moroccan weddings are traditional events which have been, for the most part, preserved throughout the generations. Typically the wedding spans between three and seven days, depending on the region, personal preference, and amount of money the families have to spend. According to Jalila Hajji, in her thesis, “A Moroccan wedding ceremony between tradition and modernity,” there are seven general steps that a Moroccan wedding performs: bath day, receiving of the gifts, henna day, the lmida, clothing changes, exhibition of virginity and l’flour. These steps are spread out over the length of the wedding, although a few ceremonies are performed together within the same day.

Moroccan Hammam

The bath day at the local hammam marks the beginning of the wedding process. On this day the bride and her unmarried female friends and relatives spend the day at the public bath, cleansing their bodies and preparing for the upcoming wedding. Married women are not allowed to attend, for it might bring bad luck. At the bath, the women eat food and drink as the bride undresses and bathes in a soothing atmosphere (Hajji. Pg 49).

On the second day, the groom sends his future wife extravagant gifts to display the strength and wealth of his family. A variety of gifts are sent such as clothing, jewelry and even livestock. Often times the groom will send her a few new outfits or perhaps even a whole new wardrobe and at the end of the day she will perform a sort of fashion show to show her family and the groom’s family all that the groom had sent her. Each time the bride walks into the room the family of the groom chants and cheers, the noise level indicating the acceptance of the bride (Kurr). Depending on how many gifts were sent, this fashion show could last the whole night.

Wedding Henna

The henna day marks the third step of the wedding. The women of the bride’s family and her close female friends come together in the home of the bride and apply henna to their hands and feet. Many traditionalists, like Hazwani Che Din, believe that the floral and geometric designs of the henna are meant to ward off evil spirits, bring good luck and increase fertility. Keeping to tradition, as Jasmine Kurr describes it, milk and sugar are placed in the room to represent fertility and prosperity and candles are lit to symbolize a bright future. The henna process is a long one that can take multiple hours to draw the henna and then for it to dry. Although in some tribes a less intricate henna design is used. For example, the Ait Khabbash Berber tribe, who live in the south eastern region of Morocco, take only fifteen minutes to apply the henna by completely covering the hands and feet with the henna dye, for while they believe the henna is to ward off the devil’s minions, they don’t believe it has to be drawn on in such elaborate designs (Becker.pg 120). They also apply henna to the hands and feet of the young unmarried girls of the family, so that they can join in the fun as well.

the lmida

After after the henna day comes the day of celebration, in which all the family and friends of the happy couple gather together and celebrate the wedding with joyous song, merry dance and delicious food. Upon arrival, the bride is surrounded by men, for no one is to see her until the groom unveils her so that her marriage is not affected by the spirits of others (Che Din). After the unveiling, the men in the groom’s family carry the bride around the room on a lmida, a throne like chair to signify that the bride is a princess on her special day. The men also carry the groom around the room to show that he comes from a strong family (Hajji. pg 53). Within the night of celebration, the bride changes her takchita between four to eight times to show off the wealth of her family (Hajji. pg 54).

That night is the first night of contact and in the morning is the exhibition of virginity. After celebrating for the whole night with friends and family the bride and groom come together in what will be their new home to consummate the marriage. The next morning the marriage sheets are shown to both families and examined for signs of virgin blood. Upon the unveiling of the bloody sheets to the groom’s family, money is given as a sign of joy. If the sheets reveal that the bride was not a virgin, she can be repudiated (Hajji. pgs 55-56).

After the examination of the marital sheets, is the last step of the wedding which is the breakfast, also called L’flour, where the families come together and share the first meal as united families. This breakfast also serves as a furnishing party of the new home(Hajji. pg 58). The completion of the breakfast denotes the completion of the wedding, and the newlyweds can continue on in life in wedded bliss, In Sha’Allah as the Moroccans say; or “God Willing,” as we would say in the West.

While all Moroccan weddings follow this general procedure, each region differs in certain aspects such as clothing and more particular traditions, for weddings are important events that allow each region to express their distinctiveness (Becker. pg 105). For example, in the southern Berber tribes the bride arrives at the wedding venue on the back of a mare led by several women and chanting youth (Aherdan. pg 136). Whereas in some of the more northern regions like in Fes and Meknes the bride arrives via a car procession that is honked at as a tradition of paying respect to the bride (Che Din). No matter where in Morocco, though, the weddings are bound to be elaborate and amazing.

Moroccan weddings are extremely fascinating but I am curious about more than just the physical process of the wedding. Is there an underlying principle holding the steps of the wedding together? Do Moroccan weddings serve a higher purpose than simply bringing one man and one woman together as man and wife? How do modern beliefs and practices coincide with deep seated traditions?